Some days are better than others. Some days you have fleas.

When I was blogging on Can’t Hardly Wait, I had a twitter account.  I really, still, don’t care for it all that much.  I never had anything useful to tweet, and considering the most exiting part of my day is either when I have a satisfying bowel movement (you know what I am talking about) or when the mail comes, my twittering got kind of lame after awhile.

“Just dropped the browns off at the super bowl and I finally got August’s issue of Cosmo!”

Then having to explain Twitter to my dad is pretty much like explaining why poop is generally a brown color to my two year old.  But this post isn’t all about Twitter.  I just wanted to say that I think Twitter is dumb.  Because I am lame and can never tweet things like “Just landed in NYC, ’bout to go drop a couple G’s on 5th Ave. Then talking with the pope over some java”  I mean, I could… but I don’t even think the pope drinks coffee.

So.  The fleas.  The fucking fleas.  The mother fucking fleas.  I have an exterminator coming on Sunday.  SUNDAY.  Today is FRIDAY.  “Sure, Sunday is ok.  BECAUSE I REALLY ENJOYED THESE FLEAS EATING MY FLESH AND ID LOVE TO SPEND ANOTHER NIGHT OR TWO WITH THEM.”  And of course that obviously means I’m a horrible mother for letting fleas bite my child.  Obviously.  Because I OBVIOUSLY brought fleas into my home purposely, and I OBVIOUSLY put them in my child’s bed and closet, and I OBVIOUSLY am not doing anything about it. 

Actually, last night while Little James was with his father, I bleached my entire apartment.  I wiped pinesol on the walls, I vacuumed my rugs at least 8 times, I lysoled everyone’s mattresses and I did about 12 loads of laundry. 

FUCK.

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5 responses to “Some days are better than others. Some days you have fleas.

  1. Fleas fucking suck. I must have spent about $200 on different chemicals and treatments to get rid of the fleas we had. Good luck.

  2. Ugh, GROSS. That sucks that you have to wait until Sunday. Seriously gross.

    I heart Twitter. Once you have people that you follow that are just hilarious (which isn’t me), you can’t stop reading.

  3. vacuum with moth balls in your vacuum cleaner bag. Moth balls kill fleas.

    PROMISE!

  4. I have nothing useful to say. I just agree on all the above. Twitter is gay and fleas are even gayer. Yes, I said ‘gayer’.

  5. LOVE your blog….

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