The birthday to end all birthdays.

Turning 21 entitles you to a couple of different things, none of which entails responsibly responsible responsibilities.  Since laws vary from state to state, I’m going to say now that in Louisiana (the state that is lucky enough to have me as a resident) and Mississippi, you must be 21 to gamble and watch women with either ridiculously perky boobs or ridiculously saggy boobs strip.

I turn 21 on the 9th.  I remember being in high school and dying to be 21.  Why, though?  I guess turning 21 is like becoming an adult here in America.  The government gives us a present when we turn 21.  “Here you go, congratulations for living for 21 years, you may now go get shitty drunk, gamble 3 quarters of your bank account away and then use the last of your money on a stripper who looks surprisingly like your third cousin.”

New York, where I grew up, has it set to where you can gamble and hit up titty bars when you turn 18.  But I moved here.  AND GOD WHAT A LONG 3 YEARS IT HAS BEEN.  I HAVEN’T SEEN THE INSIDE OF THE PURRING KITTEN IN FOREVER.  And honestly, I really miss pissing my cigarette money down the drain on a 5 pick in hopes to win 128 mil.  Id always say “DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CARTONS OF MARLBORO LIGHTS I COULD GET WITH THAT KIND OF CHEESE?”  Well now I can gamble my money away, and with my winnings I can furnish my liquor cabinet for 40 years.  Because that is what has become of my life.  Gambling, chain smoking, liquor and naked women.  Just add a fucking semi automatic and you might as well call me Tony Montana.

Basically what I am saying is, is that on Wednesday, I will attend my first Smokers, Gamblers, Alcoholics Annonymous meeting.  I would have added something about strippers in there, but I’m not quite sure what the name is for that type of group AND THEY PROBABLY DON’T EVEN HAVE COMPLIMENTARY DONUTS.


4 responses to “The birthday to end all birthdays.

  1. No support group is worth attending if there aren’t complimentary donuts.

  2. Haha. Well, happy almost birthday! I hope you enjoy turning 21.

    You can gamble and see naked ladies at 18 here in PA. The only good thing about 21 is that you can (legally) drink. Seems very silly to me.

  3. Happy birthday.

    In Texas we can gamble at 18 – and you can see boobs at 18, but have to be 21 for the all nude places…not that there’s anywhere cool to gamble – it’s just the lotto.

  4. Sweet! Happy Birthday, I got *way* fucked up last night in honor of your birthday! Cheers!

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